The first time I ever heard the word asexual, I was 23 years old. At the time I was hanging out with someone who I wanted to date very badly and his roommate. We were all talking about the commonality of being queer in the theater, as the two of…

The most common response I get when I explain to someone that I’m demisexual is that I’m just normal and looking for a special word for my sexuality. I’ll explain as painstakingly as I can that I don’t have sexual attraction unless a close bond forms, and that I don’t…

This was originally written for and published on It’s Not Your Journey on blogspot in 2019. I am reposting it here for my personal blog because I think it is a good post. Please follow It’s Not Your Journey for other mental health blog posts and interviews. “I know that…

I’m not trying to be melodramatic or hyperbolic. I genuinely didn’t think I’d get to thirty years old for most of my twenties. All of my twenties. Since the age of nineteen, really. “Where do you see yourself in five years?” therapists would ask. “What do you want to be?” …

Conditional sexual attraction. Rare sexual attraction. Sexual attraction that only forms under a specific circumstance. Confusing, wibbly-wobbly, sexual attraction type… stuff. There are a lot of experiences under the gray area between allosexuality and asexuality that are difficult to put words to. Having words and language for these experiences can…

Old muscle cars. Dogs. Bottling up emotions, drinking a beer. Watching football on Sunday with the guys. Providing for a family. There are many things that in America are culturally associated with masculinity. Sometimes this is used as the punchline of a joke, such as when on the Red Green…

Pansexuality and bisexuality. Biromantic vs Panromantic. Omnisexual vs polysexual. Panromantic, polyromantic, biromantic and omniromantic. There are a lot of different ways to discuss and label multiple attraction spectrum, or m-spec, attraction. …

Peanut butter and jelly. Chocolate and mint. Cake and ice cream. These are all things that exist on their own, but are often paired with and thereby associated with each other. They just naturally go together. Some things are just like that — intrinsically tied, always influencing each other. Some…

Asexuality in a world built around sexual attraction can feel like a puzzle box that has no instructions being turned around in one hand to another, new questions appearing constantly about the experiences of lived aces across the spectrum within it, always shifted, never solved. There are many things within…