Unlearning Expectations: The Fundamentals to Accepting Asexuality and Aromanticism

The Oxford Dictionary defines unlearn as a verb meaning “to discard (something learned, especially a bad habit or false or outdated information) from one’s memory.”

A lot of my adult life so far has been centered around unlearning things I was raised with. Part of growing up is pushing past what you were taught and doing your best to figure out what you do, in fact, believe, so that you can create a better future for yourself and others. This involves both actively learning about the world around us and taking the time and effort to challenge our core beliefs.

Core beliefs are essentially how each of us sees ourselves, others, and how we each interpret our world. Everyone has them and everyone passes them along to others around them all the time. They are not necessarily good or bad — they can be either good or bad, or even neutral.

Core beliefs are extremely difficult to unlearn. Our brains do not like to be challenged. Challenging the beliefs of others can even result in The Backfire Effect, or our own beliefs becoming stronger. But how is that possible?

Challenging Our Core Beliefs