Sexual Attraction and Libido Are Not The Same Thing, Actually
Sexual orientation and behavior take a lot of different shapes and colors in human beings. We are spectrums upon spectrums, colors out of space that shift from beautiful yellows into blues and greens and purples, rarely just one way or another, often defying the rules and definitions we have laid out for ourselves or defying the expectations of the definitions we are thought to prescribe to. What we are often raised to believe is black and white tends to exist in spectrums of shades of gray, the light interacting in front of us and creating magenta that cannot be seen unless specific conditions are met, and other colors that, in the words of Shel Silverstein, “haven’t been invented yet”. Just as I will never know if I see the color red in the same way you do, I also know that every personal narrative of human sexuality is unique to the individual. While we do tend to find comfort in labeling ourselves and also in quantifying our experiences, what’s most interesting is when a person or a group of people just doesn’t fit what is expected of the label in question and instead defies it while still prescribing to it as a part of their identity.
This is a long-winded way to introduce our topic of the day: libido VS sexual attraction, and how they are not necessarily one and the same. For many who are within the asexual umbrella, they are…
