Sex and Asexuality — The Many Different Ways Asexuals Feel About Sex

One of the most confusing things about learning that you are on the asexual spectrum if you enjoy sex is that some aces do, in fact, like sex, or sexual pleasure even if it’s not with another person. Some aces have a drive for sexual pleasure and greatly enjoy the act of sex itself.

But I hear you already — wait, aren’t asexuals supposed to not like sex? Isn’t that what asexuality is? Well, no; this is a misconception.

Asexuality isn’t about being abstinent from sex, or celibacy, though there are aces who choose this. It’s about a lack of sexual attraction.

What a person of any sexual orientation does or doesn’t do is not, by itself, indicative of their sexual orientation.

There are different ways to identify under the asexual umbrella, also called the asexual spectrum. For example, an asexual is a person with no sexual attraction. A demisexual is a person who only has attraction only under a select circumstance of a close emotional bond, not necessarily a romantic bond. This is sometimes thought of as a kind of graysexuality. A gray asexual, or graysexual (aka gray ace) is a person with rare sexual attraction. This is separate from the person’s romantic attraction, which can range from being aromantic (having no romantic attraction) to being panromantic (romantic attraction regardless of gender). This separation of sexual and romantic attraction is often used by those in the asexual and aromantic community to better…